Pick up a copy of A Mencken Chrestomathy by H.L. Mencken. Like me, you'll most likely have to go to your local library and beg the bitter woman at the front desk to take it out of storage for you. Apparently this Chrestomathy Richard and Rory are all gung-ho about isn't so popular with, you know, normal people. Therefore, poor Mencken is banished to the basement. And I'm pretty sure the woman put me on some sort of library red-flag list after she checked me out.
Start to read. Yes... H.L. Mencken seems to be a man who wasn't hugged enough by Mama and Papa Mencken. Try to push past that. Although he's bitter and cynical... so am I! What most people find sad, I'm finding hilarious. [Note to self: schedule an appointment with a therapist]
Take a shot every time he uses the following terms (or a version thereof):
Ur-"insert your chosen word here"
If you somehow manage to get to the last page without dying from alcohol poisoning, you're a better woman than I. And because of that, you get to advance to...
***THE LIGHTENING ROUND!***
Now that you're good and shitfaced, attempt to say the title of the book. If you're able to do this without slurring (or peeing yourself)...