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Blast from the (big-haired, badly dressed) past!

Every time I pick up Swann's Way, I think of this...

swanns crossing logo.jpg

Per IMDB: Swans Crossing was a short-lived half-hour serial following the lives, loves, and intrigues of twelve wealthy teenagers who stir up scandal and excitement in their small town. Among them are: Sydney Rutledge, the mayor's scheming daughter; Garrett Booth, a manipulative charmer and Sydney's blackmailing ex-boyfriend; Mila Rosnovsky, a former television star; and Neil Atwater, a young scientist who is trying to create the world's first self-perpetuated rocket fuel.

In other words, it was full of horrible "acting" (note the quotations), giant shoulder pads and a pre-Buffy, Peter Gallagher-eyebrowed Sarah Michelle Gellar.

It's difficult to find a high quality video of this atrocity (which I ::hangs head in shame:: loved at the time), so here is a lousy video (read: someone had the foresight to videotape their television screen as they played an old VHS tape... always a classy maneuver) of the "music video" they made for the theme song.

And because the theme song doesn't quite do justice to how bad the acting was, I give you the last two-thirds of the series finale.

Oh, the drama... the intrigue... the random bald stranger sporting an "I am up to no good" eyebrow arch who crashes a private pool party. This show had everything.

And... I've successfully done it! I've taken what is the first volume of one of the longest novels of world literature and compared it to the even-more-awful early 90's version of The Secret Life of the American Teenager (sorry ABCFamily... I love that you gave us Bunheads, but I hate that it shares a network with that hideous excuse for a show) that only lasted for thirteen weeks.

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