In 1981, this ravishing creature you see before you finally graced the world with her presence. Upon my birth, my father named me "Elizabeth"... a good, strong, classic name. Although I usually wish I had been named something more interesting and unique, Elizabeth has been good to me. I don't ever have to spell it for people, I can ALWAYS find a toothbrush with my name on it in chintzy little gift shops, and... I can't deny it, I totally look like an "Elizabeth".
However, my wish for a more unique name almost came true. There is a reason I tell you this story while we are reading The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Yes, my father wanted desperately to name me after a character in Victor Hugo's classic tale. And if you think it's Esmeralda, you'd be wrong. No, my father saved Esmeralda for his rottweiler! He wanted to name me... Quasimodo.
Hugo describes The Hunchback's countenance with the following super-complimentary words:
"...that tetrahedral nose, that horseshoe mouth; that little left eye obstructed with a red, bushy, bristling eyebrow, while the right eye disappeared beneath an enormous wart; of those teeth in disarray, broken here and there, like the embattled parapet of a fortress; of that callous lip, upon which on of those teeth encroached, like the tusk of an elephant; of that forked chin; and above all, of the expression spread over the whole; of that mixture of malice, amazement, and sadness."
I LOVE YOU TOO, DADDY!
Love,
Your Darling Quasi